A good friend of mine once said: "Half the truth is often a great lie." That friend: Benjamin Franklin. The whole truth, and nothing but the truth, or it ain't really that true. ask any judge.
I was recently in a situation which is far too common a situation, I think. Talking of matters of the heart with a lady, I realized that I was strategizing what I was going to say based on the type of reaction I thought it would evoke. Withholding some feelings, exaggerating others. Plotting and planning my next moves as if by a secret playbook. Like I was in a competition... on the offensive... the ball in my court, I needed to hit it hard and good, perhaps with a little bit of spin. That way I can win! right? I kind of felt like a spy, too; keeping the intel safe from the enemy... this enemy I secretly wanted to smooch on.
Does anyone else see the problem here? Am I too presumptuous in thinking that I'm not the only one who does this? Do we not often refer to courtship (the most morally applicable social dynamic, in my opinion) as "The Game"? Competition and honesty seem mutually exclusive to me. Of course, I'm sure if I prove whatever point I'm trying to make in any of these situations, she'll fall for me. 'Cause when someone proves me wrong, all I want to do is smooch 'em!
This Just In: We should be more honest with each other.
Like another one of my good friends once said: "Honesty is the best Ponesty." He wasn't much for slant-rhymes, I guess.
I'm tired of playing on the opposing team of the very people I'd also like to smooch. And no, I'm not considering that type of team-swap. Same team, but I still plan on playing a different position. Get your mind out of the gutter and consider this: Isn't it much more likely to get a bum-slap from a teammate than an opponent? I'm talking about the team of honesty! It's time we start saying what we feel even when it's uncomfortable. Babes love dudes with feelings... or so they tell me. Of course, this goes for the girls too. Dudes appreciate honest feedback and reciprocation.
A caution for all of us: There are always exceptions. Some things should be kept to ourselves. This ain't no invitation to say everything you think without any filtration just because the Shark Boys told you you could. Saying everything you feel might be uncalled for and a little creepy. But that doesn't mean that creepy is always bad, for, creepy turns into cute when it's successful. Just remember the Golden Rule: Creep onto others only as much as you would be creeped upon. And here's a little rule that will keep your honesty honest: Be honest for the other person's sake, not yours.
This post's challenge: The next time you think something nice and no more than mildly creepy about someone, but hesitate for comfort's sake, say it... to that person. Report back once you've completed your task.
Your buddy... watching you through your window... right now...,
Alex
0 comments?! look. you don't have to put what you said. Just put how it made you feel. trust me. I did it and I feel really good about it too. I've even said something nice that I meant that I wasn't going to say at first every day since I posted it... 3 whole times! I hope it becomes a habit.
ReplyDeleteI felt like a snail being thrown out a window which was then snatched up by a seagull that was later hit by lightening.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, it was exciting!
Honestly.