This is not your Mom's blog Pt. 3

Before we get down to business, I need to address a few more things. After reading the previous two posts you may be thinking, “Maybe I don’t want to get myself into this.” Well, you are probably right.

Before you make the decision to never read from this wealth of knowledge again, let me clear up the misconceptions that may have already crept into your eager minds.

1) We do not condone slavery. The slaves that prepare the feast aren’t really slaves…we are just unpaid individuals who, with blood, sweat, and tears, put forth their best effort to provide a service that most people should and would receive compensation for.

2) We still love our mothers and their blogs. Whether we love your mothers and their blogs is yet to be determined.

3) If your fingers turn blue from commenting, please see a doctor…or lick them. You may have just mistaken your fingers to be Otter Pops, which would be quite a delicious surprise for you. I can’t think of anything else that could be misconstrued as a blue finger, so if the Otter Pop theory is wrong, you may need new eyeballs.

4) Michael Low is the standard of excellence in our lives.

Sometimes we like to get caught up in the details of life. While this can be dangerous, it can also make things more fun for us. Warning: If you decide to set a picture of your foot as your Facebook profile picture, it is not beyond us to wonder if this is actually your face. Just as we get caught up in things, feel free to get caught up in whatever you like about our postings. Maybe, just maybe you do want to get yourself into this.

Your amigo,

Chris

This is not your Mom's blog pt.2

More than you are now aware, this blog is what you've been waiting for. You may think of yourselves as sharks, wounded by the social harpoon of ignorance, who until now have been helplessly searching for healing. Call it what you will--serendipity; divine providence-- you have stumbled upon a metaphorical marine hospital of scuba-diving doctors equipped with waterproof BandAids to mend you.

So, this is how it's going to work: one of us will post something each week, and the other two will subsequently give their two cents (I know what you're thinking: "more like two-finity dollars"). Hopefully you'll realize that what we have to say about the issues at hand are as important and pertinent to you as they are to us. Now, don't you worry your sweet little heads! just because we three are the only ones posting (further invites are possibly tentative) you'll be able to comment till your fingers turn blue... and then you'll be able to relocate to someplace warmer and comment some more. Think of this as "a blog for the people". Just as you need us for our insight and wisdom, we need you to remind us of how insightful our wisdom is.

Feel free to request topics for our discussion, but keep in mind that the Sword of Truth is very candid and sometimes double-edged.

Your buddy,
-Alex

This is not your Mom's blog

If you are looking for quaint backgrounds, obese infants, or Target's most recent collection of kitchen rugs; I'm afraid you ought to close this browser immediately. Since this blog was never intended to be read by the masses, it won't hurt our feelers. Besides, the true purpose of this blog (which will be discovered as it unravels) would probably have failed if at some point you don't feel just a wee bit squeamish.

If you are reading because you are being threatened (I know some of our authors can be quite physically imposing) or because you are trapped in a prison cell with only this blog and Stephanie Myer's literature to read, feel free to pass off any of those uncomfortable feelings on indigestion. If you wait long enough, a long list of distinguished people (see 2 Nephi 26:11) have promised you that fortunately, it will pass!

If you are reading because you heard on CNN that Obama follows our blog, we are severely disappointed in you. If that guy is beating you to finding good stuff, I imagine you are missing out on a lot.

If you are reading because you are willing to resort to literally anything for some kind of contact with Michael Low, we don't blame you. If you don't know who he is, we apologize that you are now cognizant of a gaping hole in your heart and life. Unfortunately, we have yet to find a way to fix that..other than spending copious amount of time with the aforementioned individual.

Whatever has brought you to the table for this communal feast of knowledge, it will likely determine what you take away.

Remember, not unlike the feasts at Hogwarts, the food provided here will seem to magically appear before you. However, there are still little slaves who put plenty of time into making it delicious.

Only the best for you..

Tua Amicum,

Dan