Worst Impressions

They say you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. You really only get one chance to make second impressions, too. As far as third impression go, the jury's still out.
But this begs the question that first impressions are important. The first time I met one of my closest friends, he was a total jerk to me! (I'll let you speculate as to which of my friends it is... it's probably you... unless you're a girl. I gave that part away) Luckily, the majority of subsequent impressions have been quite pleasant.
I do remember it, though. If it's memory you're worried about, by all means, worry about first impressions. Psychologically, first, last, and deviant impressions will stick in your mind the longest, but usually it's the consistent impressions that matter the most emotionally.

In my experience, the first impressions are the worst impressions, especially when an impression is trying to be made. If the impression I was trying to make were an accurate representation of myself, then I guess I wouldn't have to try too hard. Right?! This calls into question the validity and efficacy of job interviews and blind dates (or the opposite of a blind date: a date based solely on sight). It baffles me that often the presumed remedy to not knowing anyone you'd like to take on dates is to ask someone out that you don't know. I'm truly baffled.
One of the worst ways to get to know someone: take them on a date. That is, of course, unless you plan on swapping shoes and going on a walk for at least a mile. Why???: girls show their true colors when they're wearing uncomfortable shoes. and for the girls: you can tell a lot about a guy by the socks he wears (if you've done this right, his feet won't fit in your shoes) What does this say about the women's no-shows I often wear?: I'm in touch with my feminine side. What side is that? No more questions! This is getting too personal. But I'm definitely not an ambidexter.

Brief and initial impressions like dates and interviews usually give us time to hide the negative parts about ourselves. Familiarity usually takes people off their guard and allows us to see each other as we really are. This is what C. S. Lewis says about that:

"...surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth. If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light."

So, we've all got rats. Hiding them may make a better impression, but it'll also keep 'em around. Rat's love dark, dank, and dishonest corners. A brief review of our honesty posts might be in order.

Real impressions take time. I put a lot of time into the bum impression on the driver's seat in my car. I'm proud of the body shaped impression on my bed; I've devoted nearly a third of my life to that nook. And, I'm pretty sure I'm responsible for at least one of the impressions on the stairs in the BYU library.

So don't worry so much about immediate and superficial impressions! Quit rehearsing answers; Don't wear so much makeup; Stop working out so much. If the consistent impression you leave while your guard is down isn't that impressive, looks like you've got other things to worry about that will be or have been addressed in other posts.

Here's the challenge: The next time you're talking to someone, stop thinking about what you're going to say next, and really listen.

A swimming friend,

Alex